Saturday, January 23, 2010
What's A Gurl To Do?
I mean really? Do I continue being cordial with you because you are now concerned about me because I am sick? I mean really what do you expect me to do? Do you expect me to continue being nice and forget about the hell you have recently put me through? Did you think I was lying when I said that I was more your friend than you were mine? I mean really what's a girl to do when nothing I held sacred was sacred to you?
So you think I may be crushing on CQP or he on me...now that's funny cuz I think he carries fairy dust and he thinks that I am a prime candidate for Saint E.
I mean how do I get pass the fact that I no longer trust anything you say or do? That my heart has moved on from you. Three years of pining and chasing after you...I have wasted so much time and well the rest may not even be mine to choose, but even if I could, why would I choose to spend it with you?
It's funny because we have had some really OPEN convos...convos that have amazed you...what you say, that you haven't heard me this calm and emotion free in a long time? I had to chuckle when you said this because everyone sees a different me...
I have been holding on to this hate for so long and now that I have finally decided to let this hatred go and live my life, everyone is taking notice. It's funny how many dudes are seriously trying to approach me. It's even funnier that I no longer care about how rejection is going to sound to their ears. I am shutting them down at hello and letting them know that I am working on me. I am dating me. I am seeing me and no, I do not have the time, space, nor the energy to deal with them.
But what about you? How should I proceed...I'm not really sure BUT I have been sitting still a lot lately listening to my soul and, well seeing that I no longer get butterflies when I talk to you and no longer have to change ; -), I think it's high time for me to excuse you from the table.
You are dismissed. You are the weakest link....Bye Bye
"Doesn't it feel good to be loved by me...Luv?"
~Gotta Luv Moi Cuz I Surely Do (Smooches)