Monday, January 4, 2010

Lawd What Have I gotten Myself Into?

Sweet Jesus! It feels like I have Chucky and Chucky's Bride up in this piece. These two are driving me bananas. And when I say these two, I am talking about my child that I pushed out after 21 hrs 45 min and 31 sec of natural child birth and my sister's child. YEAH THIS WOULD BE MY BIOLOGICAL SISTER'S CHILD

I mean CQP (quack quack) thought it would be a good thing for my child seeing that he was still having trouble adjusting to his situation ... thinking that his being able to be my BIG HELPER would help move him right along...move him right along in front of that bus I am gonna throw him and her in front of...

I mean every 10 secs there's somebody crying and it's usually him. I'm like dude you 6 and she 2..get over it. (I mean she did whack him in the head with a metal lunchbox..but the other times she just tapped him) He falls out on the floor and screams, "Mommy she hit me...Mommy she is sitting next to me...MOMMY she calling you MOMMY.." I am about to put a sock in it and I ain't talking about one of those 3 for $5 specials... geez

And this child she is like Houdini's twin sister. I mean I have strapped her down in every contraption I can think of and find and just when I stick my chest out thinking I have finally defeated Chucky's spawn, I feel her tapping me on my leg, "Ma-Ma...I got out." I mean I have invested in just about every car seat out there and she gets out... now I am about to buy some chains and chain her lil butt down.. let's see how she likes those apples. She has no discipline, no structure, no sense of danger and no common sense. (if she did she wouldn't fool with me) So everything is "No." The other day while driving she hit me in the back of my head with a chicken bone because I wouldn't take it from her when she said she was done. The look on my child's face as I turned around to admonish her was priceless.. he was like, yes, this lil girl is about to meet her destruction and then I can have the back seat back to myself.

But she's two and she doesn't know the ropes so I give her a stern talking to and ask her if she understands and she says no and then proceeds to shout Hallelujah Hallelujah.. I gots her Hallelujah and will raise her by two...she will be seeing angels if she keeps messing with me and my child.

So, to say it's an adjustment is an understatement. But what's funnier is people's reaction to me having her. "Why do you have her?" "What are you going to do with her?" ( I don't know, I thought about eating her for dinner but she still poops on herself) Um, what happens if your sister wants her child back? (Um, it's her child. I don't want her. I have one special child, wasn't really in the market for one even more special... I am shooting for a normal child) Why didn't your sister keep her? (well, it's quite evident that whatever is going on inside her world she felt it was best to send her child away to be with someone else. I think this is much better than cutting the child's head off or shoving her in a dryer and turning it on... or selling her into prostitution)

I am a lot of things but heartless is not one of them. I typically do not sit up and talk about a situation without trying to be apart of the solution. I am not sure what is going on...but I am sure that I can raise a semi-emotionally stable child. I am willing to keep trying to get it right as long as people are willing to trust their children with me.

"Be the change you want to see in this world. Stop sitting around passing judgment and pouring salt on people. Love thy neighbor or thy niece as yourself..lawd, God knew how to keep me on my knees talking to him in the 2010 cuz this situation gonna take a lot of prayer."

Gotta Luv Moi, Cuz I Surely Do (smooches)


  1. girl... it's a struggle... i am figuring God sent her to me so I could have something else to love since Safeway was leaving... see me trying to be positive cuz if not I would kill her