Starting a New Book

i love you & i've loved you for a very long time...

i was so insecure, so broken, so mad, so NOT the me that I wanted to be when i met you.

i was so angry and so down that nothing you did made my smile last or erase the feeling that i really didn't want to be around you.

i wanted to love you....i wanted to know that you would love me forever & a day....one day

i thought that if i sexed you up good, you would stay.

but then i started hating myself because i was better than that...i'm sure you knew that

i hated you for a long time

i was so hurt and so confused ~ but once again i was trying to use sex to validate my space, confirm my place in your life.

but i am better than that...you know that

i love you and have loved you for a long time and probably always will

sure folks know you as the store but they also know you as HIM

HIM ~ the one i think of when i am lonely

HIM ~ the one i want to run to when i am scared

HIM ~ the one i want to grow old with

HIM ~ the one i want holding my hand to the very end

i wish i could say it didn't hurt

i wish i could say that i won in the end

i wish i could say that we rode off into the sunset

i wish i could make time stand still

i wish i had seized more moments

so i would have more memories to share

but i am done looking back and analyzing this story of you and me

i can honestly say that i am finally free

i understand your season and am grateful for the lesson

i fully understand that LUV is capable of loving

and it all started with me loving ME

"Sometimes you have to give thanks even when you don't see the blessing because I know God hasn't forgotten about lil ole me."

Gotta luv moi, cuz I surely do (smooches)