Sunday, March 25, 2012

Starting a New Book

i love you & i've loved you for a very long time...
i was so insecure, so broken, so mad, so NOT the me that I wanted to be when i met you.
i was so angry and so down that nothing you did made my smile last or erase the feeling that i really didn't want to be around you.
i wanted to love you....i wanted to know that you would love me forever & a day
i thought that if i sexed you up good, you would stay.
but then i started hating myself because i was better than that...i'm sure you knew that
i hated you for a long time
i was so hurt and so confused ~ but once again i was trying to use sex to validate my space, confirm my place in your life.
but i am better than know that
i love you and have loved you for a long time and probably always will
sure folks know you as the store but they also know you as HIM

HIM ~ the one i think of when i am lonely
HIM ~ the one i want to run to when i am scared
HIM ~ the one i want to grow old with
HIM ~ the one i want holding my hand to the very end

i wish i could say it didn't hurt
i wish i could say that i won in the end
i wish i could say that we rode off into the sunset
i wish i could make time stand still
i wish i had seized more moments
so i would have more memories to share

but i am done looking back and analyzing this story of you and me
i can honestly say that i am finally free
i understand your season and am grateful for the lesson
i fully understand that LUV is capable of loving
and it all started with me loving ME

"Sometimes you have to give thanks even when you don't see the blessing because I know God hasn't forgotten about lil ole me."

Gotta luv moi, cuz I surely do (smooches)

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