Wednesday, August 11, 2010

What's Love Got To Do With It

I think Tina said it best, "Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?"

I have been trying to blog but my internet connection keeps going down and every time it comes back up, something else is on my heart to blog about. So instead of blogging about my unmet emotional needs, I'm gonna talk about love and how this new fangle thing being categorized as love is driving peeps over the edge.

So today at work I was informed that Ms. Tasia had possibly tried to kill herself. It was really eerie for me because I was feeling some kinda way today. My heart was heavy and I don't know could be cuz I had to fuss with Chucky all the way to his drop off point for camp. I just don't know. Or cuz some of my family are showing their tails on Facebook. But anywho, when I got to work, I logged onto Pandora and my Usher station was playing and I was like, 'I ain't feeling him I need some Tasia' and it was while I was listening to her that my coworker asked if I had heard the news. I must have googled and read over 50 articles before it sunk in...she was gonna end it over a guy..or his wife..

Now I ain't judging her, I am feeling her. I have been there before. I have been so down and out and so head over heals for a piece of man that when I saw the trees without all the smoke, I was devastated...I was so emotionally and mentally drained from the relationship and everything that was going on in my life that I was just tired and was like death has to be better then this. It was like I couldn't win for trying. I was bad off if I did and bad off if I didn't.

I remember the first time I had the privilege to see Ms. Tasia live and got to meet her. It was at her final DC performance in the Color Purple. I remember how out of all the people reaching for her, she came up to me and embraced me. I remember our asking her to drop another album because I was going through some things.. I told her last albums helped me get through some rough times...I told her that she needed to do another relationship song about leaving someone that ain't right for you but you steady wanting to go back. I remember telling her how pretty she was and asking how on earth she ever thought she was ugly.. I remember her smile and her eyes swelling up like mine. I remember her embracing me one last time before her bodyguards took her away. Then I told y'all how she song to Celie me at her Richmond concert.

So it's safe to say that I feel a connection with her. Actually her performance of I Am Beautiful and I Am Here in the play is what moved me to start this journey of self-love, self-discovery, and self-worth. She has helped me in ways I will never be able to explain....helped me to see what love and beauty really is...

I have learned that love does not hurt, it does not hold grudges, it does not place on pedestals, it does not judge, it does not place blame, and it surely doesn't break hearts.

"Just because it looks like LOVE and feels like LOVE doesn't mean that it is LOVE. LOVE mends broken hearts and broken wings, allowing us to love and fly again."

~Gotta Luv Moi, Cuz I Surely Do (Smooches)


  1. great post!! shows...even those in the limelight have their own struggles too... Despite how things appear to be on the's most definitely what's on the inside that counts!

    Raine! ;-)

  2. I have learned that love does not hurt, it does not hold grudges, it does not place on pedestals, it does not judge, it does not place blame, and it surely doesn't break hearts.

    *applause* Say that! I remember telling myself that for YEARS. I got it once, now I just have to remember it ;)

  3. So true. REAL love does not inflict pain.

  4. Great post! I just heard about Tasia and the drama. I hope she finds the love she's looking for and I hope she finds it in herself first.

  5. Love shouldn't hurt and I can't pretend that I've put myself in those shoes because I have not. I started thinking about Tasia and asking myself, "was it all worth it?" I quickly said no, it is not worth it not to throw my whole life away

  6. Love doesn't hurt people; people hurt people and that's why love has nothing to do with it. People need to own up to their actions and stop blaming failed situations (love) on what went wrong.

    I take no pleasure in anyone's pain, but they ought to consider what they were doing and why in order to yield the desired result.

  7. @Raine, yeah i think it's hard for people to remember that those we see on the big screen are just like us but with lots of money and sometimes with lots more problems.. at the end of the day we are all people and we are all looking for the same thing...

    @KayC thanks babe..i am thinking of typing that out and putting it by my mirror because as it was coming out of my heart i was saying to myself, surely this isn't the 1st time i am realizing this but it is the first time i am really getting it

    @chele I know this now..and I also know that I haven't done a good job of loving myself or anyone else because I used to love to inflict pain..not any more...

    @bayoucreole i hope she does...i truly do because what she did was wrong..but i too slept with a married man...and though i don't and have never justified my relationship...let's just say i know how it feels to want to be loved so badly that you willing to live a lie

    @QueenBee in hindsight she also will know it's not worth it..but in the moment it all seems like it will work itself's a shame they dragging her thru the mud and Alicia keys gets coverage of her marriage and baby that was conceived while her now husband was still the hubby of someone else

    @Blujewel *hey lady been missing you* you are absolutely right..PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE.. it has taken me ten years to really get this to seep into my heart and my mind