Monday, May 24, 2010

Looking a Gift Horse in the Mouth

In the eyes, ears and even in the crack of his behind if I have to!

And it ain't just because I don't trust people.

People may have good intentions but there is almost always a hidden agenda or bad motive behind it or mixed up in there some where. Trust me. Luv knows about these things.

So, I was going back and forth about whether I was going to blog about this ...but then something happened the other day to set me off and well, so here we are.

I don't do "therapy" any more because the Crime Victim's Unit does not pay any more for me to go but it still pays for Chucky. So CQP had told me from jump street not to worry about the money because if I still needed to see him after the money ran out that he would still see me that we would work something out because he believes in helping people ...blah blah blah. Yeah sounds good. Let's fast forward to the money well being dry... um, yeah he will still text me, and talk to me on the phone and see me, but I now gots to hear "you know I ain't being paid for this" or "I go over and beyond my call of duty for you" and GRANTED all of what is being said is true, but who cares. Who wants to hear knew I was poor when you met me. So, unless I can pay his fee, I won't see him.

I have an aunt that used to be rich...not sure of what her financial status is now that she is UNEMPLOYED...lmbo, I know I shouldn't be happy but you know what they say, "humble yourself before God humbles you." So anywho, my aunt lives next to R. Kelly. She has this phat house that um well let's see, only she lives in. But, if you ever in town and call months in advance to see if it's okay to stay with her, you will have your pick of the 5 guest rooms. Well, my aunt used to give me expensive gifts until I sent her a 10 page front and back letter the day I graduated from high school. Yes, even as a teenager, I was long-winded. But it wasn't the fact that she used to give me gifts, it was the fact that you had to thank her for these gifts every time you saw her or talked to her. When she came over she used inspect the things she had given me and my siblings, to see how well we were taking care of our things. Any time she would ask you to do something, she would rattle off everything she had ever done or given you...and be serious about it. And well, I don't know if you have picked up on this or not but:


I watched as my aunt used to buy my siblings, my cousins, my aunts and uncles and my mom. I'm sorry, my dignity wasn't for sell..not then and not now. So when my aunt told me that she would help with my college expenses if I x,y,z for her the next four years. I told her in a lot of words that she could kiss my black behind because unlike the other people in our family that she was buying, I was going somewhere and was going to get there with or without her.

When my father told me that he would help me get a car so I could get Chucky off the bus but that I would have to get this kinda car and call him at least once a week. I told him to take his money and shove it because if I had to walk until my feet fell off, that is what I was going to do before I have someone in another state dictate who I was going to call and what I was going to drive.

And now I have my other aunt trying to say that because she has watched Chucky a time or two that I need to go get her granddaughter and take her places with me. You say what? Lawd, father, please be with me because the one that will suffer in this situation is my funny looking cousin and not her my aunt, her grandmother.

People that know me, know that I will not ask for anything unless I absolutely without a doubt need it. That I definitely ain't running around trying to ask peeps to watch Chucky or C'sB. This year is probably the most I have been away from my child since he has been born. But he is about to be 7 going on 75..he pretty much watches himself.

Now I don't have a problem with saying thank you. I have been sending "surprise" thank yous this past month to peeps in my life that have really held me down. I sent my ICE a fruit basket with no return address or name attached to the card. You know how he figured out it was me? He said, "You are the only person I know that will give a gift and don't want to be thanked for it..everyone else wants you to know it was from them." I also don't mind getting peeps kids that get mine. Ask my Jill Scott. Cuz I can't take Fric anywhere without Frac. You just ain't gonna throw it in my face, especially when you ORIGINALLY supposedly did it because you wanted to help me out.

Yeah, never been a big fan of those TROJAN horses.

"Everything that glitters ain't gold and everything that says 'free' ain't free. Granted, we sell off a piece of ourselves everyday...but how many of us are willing to sell our souls for wooden nickels? Remember, the best gift is one that you forget that you gave."

~ Gotta Luv Moi, Cuz I Surely Do (Smooches)


  1. Oh I hate being told what to do as well...I will always thank people but I hate being beholden to them. I suppose that's why i never ask for help. xx

  2. See that is what kills me with folks. They want you to be the way they want you to be. Sorry not gonna happen. And my thing is this, if you're gonna help me, then do it and move on. Don't be bragging about doing nothing for me and if you buy me something, it's mine. End of discussion. Even if I choose to give it away to the homeless, it's mine to do whatever I want.

  3. I could use some help once in a while but I will quietly struggle by myself. I am not one to ask people for anything. I don't want to owe no one. Me and my children will make it work somehow is what I figure.

    A good friend of mine got on me about it. Told me to stop trying to be superwoman all the time. I just smiled.

  4. @Chic Mama: exactly..before I had my child i never asked for help.. there were days where i hadn't eaten in almost a month and i wasn't going to tell a soul because you can't tell who really gonna help you and who gonna exploit yah.

    @QueenBee: i feel you..don't be coming over my place asking me where the suchandsuch is that you gave gave it to me so if i decided to take it back and buy myself a hot fudge brownie sundae with the refund, that is my's mine.

    @TU Queen: Honey I agree with your friend. We as women have to stop trying to do it all ourselves because this mentality is killing us quickly. However, I say that we have to be careful who we ask for help..I don't ask either of these aunts for help unless I have to meaning my child needs something right then and there...other than that I say hi and bye to them and keep it moving far far away from them