Vents, Frustrations, Updates, the Works

So basically that means that this will possibly be a long post. But I have been m.i.a. for a sec so I owe it to myself to try and get it all out.

I am going loco! KooKoo for cocoa puffs. I am tapping out. I am tired.

Everyday it's something with this child of mine. Every freaking day. And I just want to say, "You killing me Petey, you killing me." (in my Denzel voice, not that I have a Denzel voice cuz I don't sound like a man, but if I did, it would be in his voice)

I mean it's like the devil has honed in on all of my pet peeves and things that irk me and get under my skin and just delivered them in one super sonic snowball. I am like 'lawd, lawd, lawd have mercy' over here so much that Chucky's Bride can be caught saying the same thing when she playing with her dolls.

So for months now I have been dealing with ringworms. Have I ever mentioned how much I despise fungal infections? How they creep me out? How they make my skin crawl? How I have like an OCD cleaning habit when it comes to the bathroom and kitchen because I am such a germaphobe? So both Chucky and the Bride have ringworm. Chucky got it from his barber some months ago and the medicine is just not working...or maybe it's not working fast enough. And some kinda way CBride got it. Honestly, I think Chucky gave it to her on purpose...or maybe she got it from being at that ol' lady's house. I don't know. I know the doctor told me that once you on meds it's not supposed to be contagious but I am not so sure because Chucky's keeps flaring up like brand new. Anywho, all I know is I don't want it so I am over here screaming on these kids when they touch something that I have to lie on or put on my body. I mean these kids are nasty. I wasn't a nasty child. I was very germ conscious growing up. I mean the other day CBride gets out of her bed and comes to me talking bout, "here Ma-Ma, here, take this," and I am like take what, then I look down and this child has a gigantic booger on her finger, I could have hit the floor. So, I'm like, "what is that, a booger?" and she like, "yeah, take it." Now I don't know what here mommy and her grandma used to do, but I don't take nobody's boogers! I told her that she betta get her and her booger back to bed and that I bet not find it on nothing that belongs to me. Sheesh.

Then there is the bug issue. I hate bugs, especially roaches. I DESPISE roaches. I have never had to live with roaches and refuse to do so now. Typically, our building does not have bugs. But we have new tenants and well you know those jokers like to travel. And normally, I know that if they gonna spray our building that I am going to see 1 or 2 because they won't spray my unit because of the kids. So I just put down some roach gel and that's the end of it. Well, I happened to get some low-end, ghetto, 'i have been hit with every poison imaginable and i am still here' roach in my place and it is driving me crazy. I have gel-ed and bleached down my house and I still see a roach here and there and it's driving me bonkers. I don't do roaches. I break out in hives when I see them, been this way since I was little. I don't want to bomb. I have never had to bomb. But I am about to set about 12 of those jokers off up in here. I just need to find a place for the kids to stay.

So my child's teacher has confirmed my fears that my child is not on target to pass to the next grade. Not because he doesn't know the work but because he won't do the work. What am I to do? I mean before his little world was altered, he was a stellar student. I never had to threaten him to get his homework done..but now, I am at the point where I just send him to bed to save his life.

I started a new job! And I like it. It's stress free so far. But I have to figure out what to do about my old job. I need to get out of my funk. I keep trying but it seems like I keep sliding right on back down the hill. I have been eating healthier. It's funny because it wasn't really a conscious decision. It's that both of the kids are on these peculiar diets that it's just easier for us to all eat basically the same thing. So pork and beef has almost totally been eliminated from our diets. Now if I go over someone's house and they have some beef shortribs, yeah I am gonna handle them accordingly, but, I will not be buying any more pork and beef. I have also been doing a lot more fresh fruits, which are very expensive.

Okay so I have a confession to make, I have a slight crush on CQP. Just big enough to make Safeway jealous. It's not one of those, 'oooh, I want to show you my pole action and hump you all night types of crushes.' It's basically one of those 'aww, you are so cute cause you so green and hopeful, here's a lollipop' type of crush.

My bornday is coming. My bornday is coming! and I am not prepared. I am not on target. I need a couple of days to myself so I can finish cleaning, organizing, sorting, prepping, and sleeping. But as always, I am just gonna roll with the punches.

Even though I am not on target to where I wanted to be at this point, I have changed. I have grown. I have matured. I have opened. I am blooming.

"With growth there is pain, frustration, disappointment, tears, fears, and sometimes even failure; however, it never fails that when you stop anticipating the growth, and stop tinkering with the soil, and just let nature take its course, new life almost always starts to sprout, and before you know it, the seed has blossomed into a beautiful flower."

~Gotta Luv Moi, Cuz I Surely Do (smooches)