Gone Too Soon

It's funny how you can be sitting up one day laughing and joking and the next day you are shedding tears and forced to say your goodbyes.

Goodbyes, that don't come out right or even really matter because the person you are talking to, can't even hear you.

The frustration, the anger, the sadness, the pain, the endless questions and replaying in your mind the final moments of someone you cherished, someone you loved dearly, someone you respected, someone you knew.

Whether it be family, friend, or someone you met in passing. Violent, sudden deaths are hard to deal with. It chills you to your core, and makes you stop and count your blessings, if even for the moment.

It's been a year since my cousin died from breast cancer, leaving the powers that be to care for her five beautiful babies. I remember how her death shook me, how it really scared me. I had did her Will just days before she died. I remember the urgency and the chaos and my resolve to have my ducks in a row... I didn't want to be caught without an updated Will. I didn't want people fighting over my assets or lack there of. And I definitely don't want no drunk, money hungry, off-brand individual raising my kids.

Well, up to now, I really haven't been doing anything to show that I understand that Tomorrow is Promised To No One...I have just been in float mode..saying I will get to it when I get to it. Well, I am here to tell you that I am finally getting to it because it's not a game. I have been having a lot of medical issues as of late...which has my PCP on edge. He gots me seeing all kinds of specialist. And well, it's kinda serious, which has me in a slow frantic (cuz I am still true to form, it's no need for me to get all excited now, I had an entire year to get things in order).

But these are the things I said that I would get in order last year:

Get my room cleaned (and it's almost there..I will post pics later) I don't want to die with a dirty room, cuz you know that would be the topic of conversation for days. Did you see how she was living? Just nasty!!! (you know they would)

Get some life insurance ( I don't want to depend on nobody to get me in the ground or to take care of my baby)

Reactivate my child's life insurance (um, can't count on the government or his father to help bury him)

Update my will (need to include that pot of gold)

Identify a guardian for my child (um, yeah you may get that social security number just yet)

Identify an executor of my estate (cuz i have property and don't trust nobody when it comes to money...checks and balances and more checks)

Write my obituary (no, not morbid... have you actually read what some people put in their loved ones obituaries??? um, no thank you.. what can I say, I always want the last word)

Live and love without regrets ( a work in progress)

"Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, not the rich (look at MJ),nor the poor (look at those in Katrina). If you love someone, let them know it, even if they don't love you in return. If you want to do something, (as long as it is legal) go out and do it, who cares what they think or what they are saying, cuz when you take your last breath, I doubt you will be thinking if they approve. If it small, let it go; if it is big, let it go, cuz 9 times out of 10, it won't matter the next day. It's only too late to make a change if you have taken your last breath."

~Gotta Luv Moi, Cuz I Sure Do (Smooches)