Tuesday, December 21, 2010

It Doesn't Even Matter.....


Whether the box is big or small...

If it's one or two....

A blessing is a blessing...and these right here are my blessings. They may not be what I have dreamed about or what I want, but they are mine and I cherish them.

Lately I have been doing a lot of reflecting in my head because I have been too tired to write anything down. My brain won't slow down or speed up, it's just stuck on auto-pilot. I have been dealing with puke and crap for what 3, 4 weeks now? We have been passing this nasty lil stomach bug back and forth and I am absolutely sick of it.

So one day I was in my car and I was close to tears cuz well, things are coming at me fast and all I can do on a good day is find the humor in it and do my best to push through it. My son's adoptive dad, my classmate, is getting married, and while I am ELATED for him, I am a tadbit hurt cuz I had to hear about it via the gossipline. I would have loved to hear it from him especially seeing I had recently talked to him. My child didn't take the news that well...actually he had a mental, emotional, i don't know what it was, breakdown. He started crying and everything talking about how his Uncle not going to have time or space or room in his heart to love him any more. It was while I was holding back my tears, and wiping away his tears that it dawn on me, God had already worked this situation out.

A couple of months ago, one of my co-workers told me that her hubby wanted to be my child's mentor..you know kinda play "family" with my child.. you know try parenting on for size.. and well I didn't mind because I need all the semi-free time I can get..(i don't get these types of requests for my niece) So, even though my child probably won't get as much, or maybe any more face time with his "Unc" he'd already been blessed with someone to kinda fill the void.

Then there is the issue about not having a support system in place for my niece. I mean my son, he gots peeps who are dying to keep him...it's no problem unloading him when I really need to..but her, yeah, that a whole notha' discussion...so as I was getting down about thinking I would never have any more ME TIME, I realized that when I wasn't looking, I had gained a small circle of helping hands for her too. I have 2 people who are always willing to help me out with her so now I have to trust that they will be able to handle her and receive my blessing.

My job is about to end. And well, I don't really have a back up plan....I have a lot of business plans and great ideas floating through my head, but nothing concrete. Well, I have a cake business and lately, I have been pushing it, and people have been receiving it. If all goes well, I can live off selling a couple cakes a week and I even have a restaurant looking at selling my sweets on a regular...

YUP, All the time He is good.

"Sometimes we get frustrated because we believe this person and that person should help us; however, the sooner we realize that no one has to help us and that less than that wants to help us, the faster we will recognize those that are helping us and appreciate that they are a true blessing."

Gotta Luv Moi, Cuz I Surely Do (Smooches)

7 comments:

  1. It's all going to work out for good. Stay strong and keep the faith.

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  2. hey lady! thanks for still coming by to check on me.. i am gonna keep pushing cuz i don't know what else to do..and i have come too far to just sat back down. how are you? please know you will be getting comments on old blogs this weekend

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  3. I do agree with Chele whole heartedly. We both been missing in action. Have a Happy New year.

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  4. Glad I dropped by; it's been a while! Keep your ears open and stay in a place to hear that quiet voice for direction. God continues to show me what my gifts are and how they can be used to make money. I sometimes forget that God's creative Spirit lives in me! Stay strong!

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  5. hey guys!!!! and thanks guys... i miss you all so much

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