Saturday, October 31, 2015

The Best Me....

Means letting go of fears and negativity while standing in my purpose.  Yup, easier said than done, but it's doable.

It's doable!  Yes Yes Yes  and mo' Yes.  I am claiming it, not just for me but for you as well.  You can and shall walk in your purpose. 

It's amazing what happens when you change your perspective about things and how the things around you start to change, no srsly.   Ha, let me stop.

I hated my life and everyone and everything in it and around it.  I allowed Satan and his minions rob me of my joy.  His minions were folks in my family,  folks in my building, folks on my block, folks at my child's school, folks on the bus, folks in my sister circle, just folks everywhere.  These folks were trying to get me off my square, make me lose focus and for a time there, they were winning, but then I stopped and was like enough is enough.

I was sick and tired of lying in my own waste.  I was knee deep in crap and as I tried to turn around in it, I realized that most of the manure didn't even belong to me.  I was holding on to anger, rage, hurt, disappointment, despair, betrayal, sadness,etc etc that didn't even have anything to really do with me.  And for the stuff that did, why was I carrying it around like a piss soaked homeless blanket?

I mean I was mad that I was poor. 

I was mad that I was sick.

I was mad that folks didn't love me. 

But, my being mad didn't change anything.

It was time for me to put all that negativity in a dumpster and be done with it.

So, I started really consciously loving on me.  Really loving on and speaking life into me.  Now, I ain't going to lie, this was hard because I was going through a really bad breakup and I really didn't want to get up let alone boost myself up; but, it had to be done.

If I wasn't going to love on me, how was I expecting MK or anybody else to love on me?  Try as we might, it just doesn't work like this.

I started getting in the mirror and having my own pep rally.  "Team Luv is here to stay, yay yay.  She is fierce, she is funny, she has a whole lot of money.  She is sexy to the core and she doesn't keep score of who loves who the best.  She loves her life especially her kid, she loves her big ole house and the peace and quiet and the job that pays her beyond very well.   Team Luv is generous and loyal too she is happy yes so happy because her world is no longer blue.  Team Luv is here to stay, yay yay." (Don't laugh, cuz it is working)

I started reminding myself what a bad mammajamma I was.  Before I walked into situations where I knew before I had felt less than either because I knew my money was short, or folks wouldn't think I was light enough to be included in the "pretty crew,"  I told myself that I was a Queen, I was rich beyond compare, that my money ran long and that my beauty was flawless because I did wake-up like this, no fillers, contouring, makeup, concealers, this was just naturally me.  (or some variation of this)  And on the occasions that I did this, it was amazing how folks' greetings or comments would mimic some of the words I had spoke in my affirmation before joining them.


I started traveling with the few coins I had and being thankful in the moments that I did have.  I went to the Dominican Republic where most folks make $5 a day.  That is $150 a month.  I get more than that in foodstamps.  I mean I am poor, but buying a Coke ain't going to cause me to evaluate life goals.  I am not over here saying, now if I buy this Coke, can I still put gas in my car or buy some food to feed Snoopy aka The Child formerly known as Chucky.  And when the foodstamps run out, I still have enough coins to get him something other than flour and water to eat.   I may not be balling out like folks around me, but I ain't living on the streets selling my body for my next meal either.  To a lot of folks in these other places I have visited, I am rich.


I am sick but I am not wheelchair bound;  I can walk and run, even if it does cause me pain.  I am not blind;  I get to see the sun rise and set.  I do not need a tube in my stomach to eat;  I can chew and taste at will.  I can hear the whining of Snoopy without the aid of a hearing device.  I can touch and feel my love's face in-between my hands.   Thank you Jah!!!   I may not be well, but I am far from really being sick.


Slowly but surely, as I have implored these little changes in my life, things in and around my life have changed.  My cash flow has grown.  My health has improved.  And people's love for me has blossomed.  

My season and breakthrough is here and all I had to do was change what my mind's eye focused on!!!

"Live your life like you are already living the life of your dreams, change your perspective and focus on the positive and watch how your dreams suddenly become your reality."

Gotta Luv Moi, Cuz I Surely Do ~ Smooches

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